A Letter to My Mom

Son and Mother Embracing

Preface: As a motivational speaker who travels the world spreading awareness surrounding autism and mental health, I encounter many autism parents struggling to find a way to help their children in a more efficient manner.

Parenting may seem like a Herculean effort, but the simplest acts can create the strongest bonds. Below, I write a letter to not just my mom, but all autism moms and dads. You are validated, you are recognized, and the only true failure as a parent is when you stop trying.

Always remember these words: "If you do something out of love, you can never go wrong, no matter the outcome".

Son and Mother Embracing
Russell Lehmann with is mother.

Dear Mom,

I will never have the words to tell you how much you mean to me. What is to follow doesn’t do you justice.

I wouldn’t be where I am or who I am today without you. You have always been my shelter during the toughest of storms, as well as the one steady constant in my life. Every single day you are there for me, whether that’s watching proudly from the sidelines or embracing me during my darkest moments. Whether I'm succeeding or failing, happy or sad, functioning or not, your love and support is limitless, which in turn makes my own potential limitless.

From your love and affection I learned to never be ashamed of who I am. From your words of wisdom I found out that there was a reason behind why I was here. From your ability to listen I found my voice, and from you just simply being there for me, you have helped me to see the beauty during the darkest of days, and to always, always remain positive.

You are my idol, my mentor, my role model, my hero. But most importantly, I am lucky enough to call you my mother.

You believed in me when no one else did. You fought for me when I was too weak to fight for myself. You sat next to me during times when I felt completely alone, and you loved me when I was too bitter and angry to love myself.

It’s hard to fathom how far I have come, and how much I’ve been through. It has been a hell of a long road thus far, and I am beyond thankful that you’ve been with me every step of the way.

As I begin to create my own life, I know that you will still be ready to catch me when I fall, whether I’m at your house or halfway around the world. You have instilled within me the strength to persevere, the ambition to overcome and the tenacity to push through.

Remember how many times I wanted to end my life? I chose not to because of you. I couldn’t let everything you’ve ever done for me be in vain. I choose to live because of you, and everyday you motivate me to make this world a little bit more compassionate, understanding and sincere.

Simply put, I love you mom. More than you will ever be able to comprehend. I know with all my heart and soul that when we meet again after this life, you will understand how much you mean to me.

In the meantime, I will live my life with the utmost virtue, integrity and nobility. I will strive to better myself in all aspects and will carry forth the torch of kindness and compassion you lit the day that I was born.

You have dedicated your life to me, and I find it to be the epitome of beauty that I dedicate my future to you.

Most Sincerely, with Love, Gratitude and Appreciation,

Your Son,

Russell

 

 

 

Autism Parents, Autism Speaker, Parenting, Motivational Speaker, Autism, Mom, Autistic, Speaker, Autism Moms,

Moving Beyond Fear to Support Your Child on the Autism Spectrum


I increasingly feel as though I’m backed into a corner (a spot that is usually a safe place for me), but in this corner there is a subtle yet deafening voice issuing a profound ultimatum:

“Be safe and stagnate, or take risks and flourish.”

Each time I hear this voice, a fire ignites within me as I stand up in the corner, back against the wall, and remember a quote that has been the continuous theme of my 27 year-long journey: “You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it.”

I have had the amazing opportunity to travel to all corners of the country sharing my story, insights gained and lessons learned, and I make sure every audience I speak in front of takes one message home with them: I believe the heaviest burdens in life are only put upon the shoulders of those strong enough to carry them. The lesson for me here is clear: If I were to stay inside my comfort zone and not push myself out into the extremely frightening outside world, I would not be able to touch a single life with my message of hope, inspiration and acceptance.

Being a motivational speaker, I travel a lot, and I have recently developed PTSD when it comes to airports after I experienced a horrendous meltdown in June of last year at the Reno-Tahoe International Airport. Although this experience went viral after I wrote about it on Facebook, the mental and physical repercussions of this traumatic incident have been immense. Meltdowns are already exhausting. Public meltdowns? Downright agonizing.

Few people understand the torment and anguish that lies behind the word “meltdown.” Tears, hyperventilation, screams, adrenaline rush, intrusive thoughts, vulnerability, sometimes even vocal tics and convulsions. In five out of the last 11 trips to the airport, I have been met with intense anxiety, prolonged panic attacks, distressing meltdowns, severe depression and invasive bouts of OCD, resulting in me pacing back and forth in the airport, sobbing uncontrollably, twitching and rubbing my hands together, all the while feeling like my brain is in a vise grip that has been set on fire. On top of this, I am always met with two extremes from the people around me: stares of curiosity or purposeful avoidance. I am either on exhibit or completely invisible, and to be honest I don’t know which one is worse.

Throughout all of this, I have somehow managed to board my plane each and every time, sometimes assisted by my mother and/or airline employees and have subsequently given a heck of a speech to boot.

So the question remains: Should your concerns for your child limit their pursuit of a fulfilling life?

My answer? No.

Without a doubt each episode of panic or sensory overload I experience takes a toll on my mental and physical well-being, but I have found that through strife and struggle we can discover our individual purpose, and come to understand why we are here.

I’ll refer you to this famous African proverb: A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.

The purpose of this article is to inform you. After all, knowledge is one of the few things that can be given to you but never taken away. Having said that, you are the parent. You know what’s best for your child. When you trust your parental instincts above all else, while also compassionately pushing your child to take risks, letting them know you will be there to catch them when they fall, I believe you will be amazed to discover your child’s continuous growth of self-confidence, ambition and insight.

Parents of those on the spectrum often second-guess themselves and may regret certain decisions they made for their child. I know my mother did, but let me tell you, she has been the absolute perfect mother for a son with my struggles and circumstances. I believe when you do something out of love, you can never go wrong.